It's Ash Wednesday and our son comes back from Grandma's tomorrow. He will have gotten his ashes and attended services – and it will be time for the three of us to sit down and talk about how we want to shape our Lenten experience this year. A friend has already told Mark Anthony, age 7, that he must give something up for Lent and he, apparently, agreed to giving up sweets (except for chocolate, he explained.) 

We have something a little different in mind. It will be interesting to see if Mark Anthony takes to it easily. This practice is something his father, Mark, and I aspire to – and even practice when we remember. This year, however, we want to be more intentional and teach each other. while practicing it as our Lenten family discipline: The discipline of just noticing. 

'Just noticing?' Just noticing what? That doesn't sound very spiritual. It certainly doesn't seem active or sound like a discipline at all, at least not in the way we usually think of it. And yet 'just noticing' can be an amazing way to deepen and develop our relationships to God, individually and as a family. It can be an amazing way to deepen and develop our relationship with God in and through each other. In fact, it can affect everything we do and everyone we encounter.
How? First let me describe the context: The context is a busy family life. Our lives are a kind of choreographed chaos of daily parenting routines such as drop off and pick up from school, sports, snack, homework, dinnertime, laundry, reading, and bedtime rituals. That's a lot for a young child and can feel like a lot for parents like us, with very busy jobs of planning, writing, speaking, counseling, and, for Mark, being available for others at unexpected times and at short notice. 

It is precisely because of the busy-ness that the practice of 'just noticing' can be a powerful Lenten discipline for our family. The idea behind the discipline is to notice where God has been moving in the everyday, ordinary business of our lives each day. Simple, not painful or difficult. And yet it is not easy, either. 

The plan is to spend 10 minutes each night before Mark Anthony's bedtime, after he is washed and dressed and lying in bed, reviewing the events and the feelings of the day. St. Ignatius taught a far less simple form of this practice called an 'examen.' For us, we want to do a brief one – to spend a few minutes being still with God and with each other, letting go of some of the noise of the day and tuning in to the presence of God. Then, we'd take turns sharing. Do we begin with where we have 'sinned?' Not at all. We'd just 'play the day back' together, sharing: 

1) where we noticed we were gifted by God during the day (e.g., something good like a call from an old friend, a new friend at school, a supportive colleague when we felt disheartened, new snow for sledding, etc), 

2) what feelings we experienced during the day and when (e.g., joy at making the winning basket, disappointment that it took 20 minutes for our son to focus on brushing his teeth, sadness over a lost friend, pride over learning that Mark Anthony helped an immigrant Japanese girl with her work at school, excitement over an art project, gratitude for a job well done, peace, etc.) and 

3) where we think God may have been trying to communicate with us during the day in these events and thoughts and feelings. Perhaps there was something we hadn't noticed at the time. Was there something God might have been trying to show us? Was there something we might have done better? Could we have loved more? 

So, our Lenten discipline will be the practice of just noticing God in our daily lives, so that we stay in touch with God's presence. In the midst of the dailiness, we will take time out to review and wonder... and savor, and, hopefully, grow together in awareness and immense gratitude. This may just be “the best Lent ever.” -kbj

Feature photo courtesy of roland via flickr.